fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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