u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You took a bar mat shot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
