So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
