i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
