I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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