My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
