i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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