can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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