Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
