Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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