5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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