You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
