Barsexuality is the new black.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
