i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
