okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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