are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
