Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize