worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
