its not stalking. its research.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize