This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
