I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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