that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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