He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
