We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
