I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize