is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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