why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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