My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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