just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
