She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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