Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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