I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
