She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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