They should really pass out barf bags in church
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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