We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
