I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish i was in the wii world.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
