Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
