I CAN MOONWALK!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
