She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
