I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize