You're my little dorito
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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