we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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