Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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