her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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