she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
did i walk over a car last night?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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