I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
