You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
