someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
