Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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