Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize