I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
