there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
