i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
