I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
