Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
