He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
