Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
