Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
