oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
