Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
