Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
