I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
