You can't motorboat a personality
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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