I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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