Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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